Class
by clairdelune-20
Summary: The moment when you wind up in the middle of a field, get rescued by the casual King or two and continue to reside in an old castle until your figure out how to get back to your year of 2010 has to have its ups and downs, right?
1. Ew

**Welcome, dukes and duke-ettes, to my story, "Class". I'll leave a long-ass authors note in the coming chapters. Not this one. Ok. Bye bye. Read now.**

**(I am in no way the owner of The Chronicles of Narnia and its many characters. I am only toying around with them for a while.)**

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"Classy Colette, very classy"

"Oh shut up Cha-"

Charlotte held my hair while I puked half my stomach out onto the dirty sidewalk outside my apartment. Alchohol and Colette Blair certainly did not mix. Especially when I had lost my left shoe and new phone. Now, let me make known, that I am not a heavy drinker. I really don't like to drink actually, but today was an exception. It was my best friend Charlotte's birthday, having just turned 19, and to end her nagging, I had agreed to have a few drinks to celebrate with her. After a few too many drinks, we found ourselves in front of my New York apartment, I vomiting the contents of my stomach out onto the sidewalk. Charlotte's boyfriend Will was caressing her vomit stained face in his also drunken state, instead of following her orders to collect my bag, which's contents was spilled onto the sidewalk, to speed up the process of getting us inside. It kind of made me nauseous; here I was, my insides dripping down the road, and all Will could focus on was how beautiful and in love with Charlotte he was. They have been dating for a strong two years now, and in any other situation I would have thought his gentle act was sweet, but when I was dead tired and hurting, I was in no mood.

"Will, for the love of god can you get my stuff so we can go inside!"

And then another round of vomit came through, ending my short rant. Grudgingly, he left his love and grabbed my stuff, lifted Charlotte (leaving me in the process) off the ground and walked towards my apartment. I could hear their drunken giggles as they opened the door and walked inside.

"Oh Col-eeeette!" Oh my, she was really out of her mind. "Colette-y poo!" And so was Will. Why had I agreed to this? "Come on Colette, come inside! Come on bebzi!"

Oh dear, my head hurt way too much to hear their drunken wails. I stalked into my apartment, slammed the door and walked to my room. I was not a force to be beckoned with when I was tried and grumpy. The added alcoholic affects helped no bit. I stripped off my soiled clothes and hopped into bed in only a flimsy white t-shirt and boy shorts. This was going to be a long night...

**1:00AM**

Don't you love having that friend that, even though she knows you have a final exam at 8:00am the next day, still convinces you to party with her the night before, which subsequently causes you to have the worst possible headache throughout the night, and the added bonus of hearing that same friend moan and groan with her boyfriend in the room right next door. Oh, life is just fabulous at the moment.

**3:00AM**

Don't you also love that same friend who, just after you finally fall asleep after hearing her have her fourth round with her boyfriend, comes barging into your room, waking you from your slumber, proclaiming that she had just witnessed the Second Coming of Christ, run out and laugh like a madwoman in the hallway, all the while her boyfriend is patting her on the back and congratulating her on her 'well-trained efforts'. Excuse me while I bash two particular people.

**5:00AM**

Don't you just love that after spending a full 10 hours with two of the most annoying people on the planet, vomiting the entire contents of your stomach out, having the worst possible headache known to mankind AND running on a mere 1.5 hours sleep, you end up in the middle of a grassy field, in your underwear, next to a breed of sloth. Yeah, this is truly my day.

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**Reviews are great. Like various breeds of sloth. Who doesn't want one?**


	2. Ew, giant horn

**Hi princes and princesses! This is chapter two (obviously). Hope you liking and/or loving Class. I'm having a blast reading it. Literally. I'm eating a blast lolly. Hehehe. This is a bit of a short chapter, but nonetheless, hoping its fab. So here we go. And who's that on the horizon? Oh, its the king and queens...**

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When I woke up, I knew I was not casually lying on top of my bed at 15 Staple Street New York. How did I know this? Well, last time I checked, my bed was not made out of insect-ridden grass, soil and mud. I did not have a running stream smack bang in the middle of my apartment; fill with hundreds of colourful fish swimming leisurely inside it. My bedroom was not littered with various trees and shrubs, and I most certainly did not have any magical creatures as pets. I sat up, whipping my head around. Where the hell was I? Where are Charlotte and Will? Where's my freaking apartment gone? Of course, my actions from last night were not going to leave me without a bang, and my constant speculation and confusion provoked my headache to reappear with full force, causing me to literally fall back onto the grass. I reached my hand to my head, squinting my eyes, shielding them from the full force of the sun. Sun? It was most certainly not sunny in Manhattan. Last time I remember, it was bucketing down in rain.

Toto, we're definitely not in Kansas anymore.

All of a sudden, whilst still contemplating my whereabouts, I heard trotting. Trotting, like the hoofs of a horse.

How unusual.

Gradually, the trotting turned into running, and slowly, the pounding became louder and louder. What the shit? Startled, and admittedly scared out of my wits, I stood up, not really caring that I was not dressed to be seen in public. My eyes nearly bulged out of my head when I saw 3 giant horses a few metres away from me. "Woah, stop, stop" came from the person on top of the middle horse that of which had a... horn in the middle of its forehead.

Huh?

What horse had a horn in the middle of its head! Was it infected? Was it diseased? Holy crap, it was a disease-ridden horse, coming to infect me with its horn-producing illness. Escape! Escape!

"Excuse me, but who are you?" came from a sweet voice on the horse to the right.

Thankfully, this horse did not have a massive horn protruding from its forehead. Phew.

"Lucy! We do not speak to... visitors like that!" came a hushing voice from the horse to the left.

My eyes were playing ping pong here, switching from one horse to the other. I could not clearly see the people trying to talk to me, so I walked closer to them.

"Uh... hello?"

"Good afternoon miss"

On top of the horn infested equine, sat a blonde haired boy, a good four years older than me. From what I could see, he was clothed casually, and had a striking pair of blue eyes. I must admit, he was handsome. He probably knew this, and knew the fact that I was without realising checking him out, because he smirked at me.

"Hi. Um, where am I?" I questioned.

"Well" started the little girl on the right. She seemed young, and had a giant smile on her face, as if she had just stumbled on a giant, hidden present "You are in Narnia!"

"May I ask your name?" came from my left, a girl around my age with long brown hair and a speculative stare.

"Um, I'm Colette Blair. Who are you?"

The boy in the middle laughed. It was a quiet laugh, but nonetheless, he laughed at me. Great.

"Well, I'm High King Peter" he started. My jaw dropped. "This is Queen Susan" pointing to his right "And this is Queen Lucy. Welcome to Narnia, Lady Colette."

Holy moley. I was standing, scantily clad, in front of royalty.

"Oh, um, I'm so sorry. I.. uh... I don't really know where I am.. actually, I have no idea what's going on. I wo-"

Stumbled. I actually started to babble and stumble in front of Mr High King and his royal accomplises.

"Why don't you come back with us" interrupted Queen Lucy. I must have looked dumbfounded as she clarified her sentence "Back to Cair Paravel. Our home."

"I, uh, I would really appreciate that actually. Thank you. I, um, I don't know if its very appropriate to go like this though." I said, pointing down to my body.

"Oh, that's ok. Don't worry. We will get you cleaned up at the castle and figure everything else out from there." Replied Queen Lucy. I was starting to like her.

"I, well, thank you."

"Shall we be going?" Asked High King Peter. We all nodded in unison, and I started walking.

"Um, what are you doing?" Questioned the High King.

"Im going with you?"

They all snickered.

"Well, we're not expecting you to walk. Come on, hop on the back of Lucy's horse, Scarla."

Oh. God that was embarrassing.

I hopped on 'Scarla', who, as soon as I climbed on her back, started talking. I literally fell off my horse.

I shot up quickly, blushing furiously, but still containing myself.

"The horse just talked!" I exclaimed.

"Well yes" started Queen Susan "they do tend to do that."

"And this is.. normal?"

"Oh dear, you have much to learn about Narnia" sighed Susan, and encouraged me to get back on Scarla.

I did. And we galloped away to the castle. Oh my, I was going to a castle. In a t-shirt and panties. On the back of a Queens horse. Accompanied by more Kings and Queens. Oh sorry, a HIGH King. Oh gosh. Bumpy ride? I think so.

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**Reviews are great. Like talking horses with giant horns.**


	3. Ew, grassy shirts

**Wassap lads and ladies? Well I'm just updating like a madwoman here, which is very unusal for me. Guess who we meet in this chapter?**

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So as we were quietly trotting towards this castle which was the apparent home to these 3 royals, who to my eye seemed only teenagers, I started to speculate and wonder where the freaking hell I was. Considering I'm, on better days, a crazy over-analyser, I wondered why the hell I was so calm about winding up in a foreign land named Narnia. Because Queen Lucy seemed the nicest towards me right now, I decided to quiz her about Narnia. And when I say quiz, I mean I went all Spanish Inquisition on her ass.

"Queen Lucy, I wa''

"Lucy." She interrupted. Well yes, I did know her name.

"Yes, Queen Lu-"

"No no, just Lucy." Oh. How sweet.

"Well, Lucy, could you please, for all that is good and pure in this forsaken universe, tell me where and why I'm here?" I rant. I know. Get over it.

"Well Colette. You're in Narnia; obviously. Why you're here? I can't really answer that question, as I don't know the answer myself."

Something about her look made me think she knew more than she was letting on, but I let it slide for the time being.

"But I do know that, as councellor-ish as this sounds, you must be very confused right now. So was I. My brothers and sister were plunged into this world, as were you."

So Mr High King and extra Queen were her siblings. But brothers? As in, more than one? Interesting...

"So I kind of know how you're feeling. Where are you from?" Mars Lucy, where do you think?

"Earth" I said deadpanned. She laughed. "Obviously! But where? We were from Finchley, in England."

What she said really shocked me. "What do you mean, we were from Finchley. You are from Finchley. You're from England. Earth. The universe. You are from Finc-" I rambled.

"No Colette." She said, almost sadly. "We were. We live here now."

Oh shit. They live here. They're not going back. They were from Finchley. Now they're from Narnia. They're not going back. I'm probably not going back. This is bad. Very bad. Problematic times a thousand.

"Does that mean, I, I'm not going back to New York?" I whispered.

Lucy looked at me guiltily. "I can't be sure Colette." She turned to face the soon-approaching castle. "We'll just have to see." She turned back to me. "For now, you'll be living here."

Oh my. What about my final exam?

"I don't mean to alarm you Lucy, but I have, or had, a final exam today. What do I do? What about Will? And Charlotte? And my life?"

Yes, there was the panic I was lacking before. Lucy smiled.

"Don't worry about all of that. Time stands still in the real world as we live in this world."

Uh, okay, cool. You know, time normally stands still and all. Lucy must have sensed my panic, as she said, "to be quite honest, I think you'll find Narnia better than New York; as crazy as that sounds."

Crazy? No, no way. I wasn't just plunged into some fantasy land.

Before I knew it, we had arrived at what seemed to be the castle, Cair Paravel.

Who am I kidding; it was definitely their castle. It was massive. Did I mention we were greeted by every single person we crossed? These royals must be very popular. Though, I did receive some strange looks, probably due to my state of being at the time.

Oh, and the term person is used very loosely. Dwarfs, trolls and more talking animals seemed to be neighbouring Cair Paravel. Did I freak out, again? Yes, yes I did. After some explanation from High King Peter and Lucy however, I seemed more at ease. It was like I was in some magic fantasy dream land. Nothing was real; except it was. And I was in the middle of it, being carried away on a talking horse to a castle.

I really was giving Disney a run for its money.

When we finally arrived at our destination, we were greeted by various... beings, and I was led by High King Peter, Queen Susan and Lucy to... somewhere.

"Um, excuse me Queen Susan, but where are we going?" She turned to face me and stopped walking.

"Well, we're going to get you cleaned up first, and then we can show you around the castle."

Okay, I was up for that, the grass in my shirt was not too appealing at the moment. High King Peter was eventually ushered away by a Narnian, as I was going to call them, and excused himself from our little group, saying he would see us at dinner. Lucy and Queen Susan led me to a large bathroom, filled with scented soaps and oils and lush towels, ready for me to use. Of course, everything was old and Elizabethan, if you will. A long, crimson dress hung on the door, ready for me to wear, and Queen Susan and Lucy left me to bathe.

"If you need anything, just walk down the hall and take the first right, that's my room" said Lucy, "I will help you."

"Thank you" I replied, "I'll just, uh, go now"

Queen Susan and Lucy said their goodbyes and I was left in the middle of a giant bathroom. Yippee! At least magical fantasy lands had lush bathrooms. I walked over to the crafted mirror. It was easy to say that it looked like I had been in a brawl with a lawnmower. Or feral beast. Maybe with a stray cat. Nonetheless, I looked bad. My normally curly brown hair was knotted and frizzy. My face was actually smeared with dirt. My t-shirt, well let's just say it has had its better days. Green grass stains had ruined the white fabric. And well, I think it was embarrassing enough that I had no decent pants on. Thankfully, I was headache free and ready to absorb the fact that I was not at home anymore. I was in Narnia.

Well, that sounds weird.

As I was about to undress, my t-shirt halfway up my torso, a knock came from the door. I expected it to be Lucy, maybe forgetting to tell me something. How I was wrong, as I opened the door, in all my dishevelled glory, I was greeted with the back of a head. A boys head. A boy with dark brown hair's head.

"Lucy, have you tol-" I was met with a pair of chocolate brown eyes, and a boy who looked a little bit older than me. Well, he was handsome. Hell, he was a freaking hottie. His slightly pale face looked shocked, confused and a little... embarrassed? And didn't he have a sweet pout on his beautiful face. He was relatively tall, dressed casually. Nice body? Check. He must have caught me openly checking him out, as he smirked. It was then that I remembered that I was nearly naked and looked pretty darn trashy, and fumbled, trying to cover myself up.

Oh, this is embarrassing.

"I, uh, I thought you were Lucy." I muttered. Awkward situations were not my forte.

"Fancy that. So did I." He looked down, and seemed a bit embarrassed. I could see his cheeks redden.

"So, I think I'll let you, uh, get back to what you were doing. Sorry." He looked back up, straight at me, turned around and walked back down the hall. I turned around and closed the door, trying to collect myself. Who in god's name was he? Remembering my scruffy state, I sighed. Great. I meet a random, beautiful stranger in a dream universe with grass in my skimpy-ass t-shirt.

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**Reviews are great. Like beautiful stangers. Leave one.**


	4. Ew, spluttering water

**Heya royals and royal-ties? So read on, and meet me at the bottom; I'm in need of some assistance! Go on, read!**

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So after taking a long-ass bath, I decided to make myself slightly presentable for the upcoming dinner. The red dress waiting for me was absolutely beautiful; it was floor length and made out of some kind of velvet, and if you looked very closely, you could see small, intricate gold weavings throughout the material, making it shimmer or shine in the sunlight. Nonetheless, I was quite pleased at the fashion taste of Lucy or Queen Susan; whichever picked this dress out for me. After getting dressed, I tried to tame my hair. The grass and dirt were washed away, and I was glad for that. I decided to leave it down and curly, although I knew by tonight it would resemble a giant fur ball on top of my head. Then, I arrived at a problem; dinner was around the corner, and I had no idea where to go. The castle was obviously huge, and I had not a clue what to do or where to find the others. I slipped on some flats that were by the door, and walked into the hallway. Crap, I could get lost in this hallway alone; let alone in the various rooms of the castle. This could be a problem. As I walked down the hall, I observed the various paintings and tapestries that hung from the walls. Most of them were in shades of red and gold, and I snickered, mentally picturing the Gryffindor common room from Harry Potter. Hmm, I wonder if the Kings and Queens knew of the Boy Who Lived? A lot of the paintings were of some sort of grand lion, and I made a mental note to ask Lucy about that later. It was a bit later that I came to a crossroads; the hall divided itself into two corridors, and I didn't know which one to take. I decided to be spontaneous and choose the left corridor, walking along another few paintings and tapestries. The difference with these were that these paintings were of battles, of many 'Narnian's' fighting with an enemy clan. Next to one particular painting was a metal shield, a large red lion painted on the front. So the Narnians have been to war, huh? Seems this world has more to it than I originally thought. At the end of the corridor was a large, wooden door. Opening it, I found none other than a library. A grand library, filled with books upon books. Shelves lined the walls, and in the middle of the floor was a large red couch, fitting for at least four people. A small wooden table lay near it, everything made out of what seemed to be hand crafted wood. Thinking I had some time to kill, I decided to wonder through the shelves and pick a decent book to read. Too bad those books were not in English. Or Latin, or freaking Himalayan for that matter. Odd characters graced the pages, and I had absolutely no clue as to what it read. Slightly disappointed, I turned around and plonked myself on the couch. A comfortable couch it was too. I must have been caught up in my thoughts, as before I knew it, High King Peter stood in the door way and was looking at me funny.

"Lady Colette?"

I was snapped out of my daze. Dammit.

"Just Colette"

"Well, Just Colette, dinner is ready. Would you care to join us?" Ha. He thought he was funny. Well two could play this game.

"Of course I would, High King Peter."

"Just Peter"

"Well, Just Peter, shall we be going?" Ha. Suck on those apples.

"Why yes, yes we should."

Peter, as he was now un-formally named, was starting to remind me a lot of Will. They shared the same, 'personality traits', and I decided that I would get along with him. I had to, I guess. After all, who knows how long I will have to stay here for.

Before going down to dinner where the others were so kindly waiting, Peter briefly showed me some of Cair Paravel. I discovered a few new rooms, including another fully stocked library, two more bathrooms and a room fully dedicated to battle gear.

"When was the war?" I asked Peter.

"A few years ago, actually. That was the reason my brother and sisters came to Narnia. We had to help the Narnians take back their land, and freedom." At this, Peter looked a bit upset, so I decided to drop the subject for now. By then we had made it to what seemed to be the dining room. Inside was a large table, fit for many, but no one actually sat at it. Sitting on top of the table was a lavish feast, yet no one was eating. No one was there.

"Um, Peter, crazy question, but where is everyone?"

Peter looked around, a slightly puzzled look on his face.

"I actually don't know. They were here waiting when I went to look for you. All three of them"

"Three?"

"Yes, Susan, Lucy and my brother, Edmund"

Oh yes, the other brother. Stupid! Just as Peter said the names of his siblings, three people pushed through the doors of the dining room. And when I say pushed, I literally mean they scuffled and fumbled and basically flew through the doors. I was first to notice Queen Susan, who seemed to be arguing with an unknown male about, well, something. Lucy was next to Susan, trying to break up the fight unfolding.

"Susan! Stop that now! How was Edmund to know?"

"Yeah Susan, how was I meant to know! Gosh, lighten up would you!"

"Oh don't be daft Edmund! Everyone knows here! Absolutely everyone! Even the trees were talking about it!"

"Susan, stop exaggerating! Edmund, stop being smart!"

The kerfuffle carried on until after his third try, Peter broke up the argument.

"I don't mean to alarm you all, but we do have a guest."

At that moment, every eye in the room was on me. I was beyond the point of embarrassment. Far, far beyond it. All I wanted to do was find a giant pit and/or whole that had magically appeared in the middle of the earth and crawl inside of it. Why, I hear you ask, would I want to go to such extremes? Well, dear curious one, I would want to go to said extremes because not only was everyone looking at me, but because one of those curious pairs of eyes belonged to none other than the beautiful stranger I had met a mere two hours ago; whilst I was covered in dirt and in barely no clothes at all. And he was currently looking at me as if I was the strangest thing known to man. Or at least, that's all I could gather from his shocked facial expression. We were oddly gazing at each other for quite a while until I heard a cough coming from my right, and snapped back into reality.

"Oh, I don't believe you two have met. Colette, this is my brother Edmund. Or King Edmund the Just, whatever you prefer to call him. Edmund, this is Lady Colette."

Edmund stepped forward and gently grabbed my hand.

"Pleasure meeting you Lady Colette."

At this, he brought forward my hand and kissed it, earning a blush and awkward courtesy from me. I thought that seemed appropriate for such an old-fashioned gesture of hello. He winked. A king actually winked at me. So much for keeping it traditional. He must have remembered me from before. Crap. Enter more blushing.

"Well, we should eat, shouldn't we" said Queen Susan, interrupting out little, slightly awkward, tension filled moment, and everyone started to make their way to their seats. I picked a slightly inconspicuous seat near Queen Susan; Lucy sat across from me, Edmund across from Queen Susan and Peter at the head of the table.

"Normally, quite a few others would be dining with us tonight" started Queen Susan, "but we decided to keep it private on your account.'

Now, I wasn't really sure how to take that. I mean, had I come as an inconvenience to them? Was I blocking the chance for the kings and queens to dine with their normal guests? Wow, way to make me feel uncomfortable Queen Susan. I had yet the chance to have a proper conversation with her, but it seemed like she did not like me. Not even a little.

"So Colette, how are you finding Cair Paravel?" asked Lucy.

"Oh, it's wonderful Lucy. It almost seems historic, there's so much detail and history in everything! I love it, really. And the paintings in the hallways are exquisite! Actually, if I may ask, who is that reoccurring lion?"

Lucy smiled.

"Oh, you must have seen the paintings of Aslan. Aslan is great, a wonder really. He's like God to the Narnian's, and to us as well. He defeated the White Witch, an evil ruler who caused much pain for the Narnian's for over 100 years. He's quite the hero in our eyes."

"Lady Colette, what did you do this afternoon after we left you?" interrupted Queen Susan.

A few strange and somewhat chaotic things happened after this seemingly innocent question was asked. Firstly, I nearly choked on the water I was drinking, (and some damn fine water that was). Secondly, I heard and, well, saw Edmund choke and splutter a little, and thirdly, probably out of mere curiosity about the spectacle of choking and spluttering and bubbling that just erupted in front of them, Peter, Lucy and Queen Susan's eyes were all locked on me; then on Edmund, and then back to me. Peter looked indifferent, although I could see curiousity brewing in his eyes. Queen Susan and Lucy just looked plain confused as to why Edmund and I almost had near fatal experiences with plain old water glasses.

"Oh, well, um after you left" I started, "I had a quick bath," to which I blushed and took a quick glance at Edmund, who just sat there smirking, "and then I just wondered around the castle. It was great, quite interesting."

Phew. Nice save Colette, nice save.

"Hmmm. Sounds thrilling" stated Edmund, who was now smirking at me.

"Why yes, yes it was" I replied in my most sarcastic tone manageable.

We were looking at each other for some while before Peter asked Edmund about some giant-related stuff and I zoned out of their conversation, now focusing on the food in front of me. Did I mention that everything tasted better here? The water, the food, everything! And I was loving it, truly. After a while, Queen Susan excused herself from the table, as did Peter. Edmund, Lucy and I remained, wondering what to do next, as we had finished our dinner and the 'servants' had washed up.

"Well, I might go up to bed" said Lucy, and yawned.

Crap! She can't just leave me here, alone, with Edmund! Abort mission, abort!

"But Lucy, it's early!" I replied.

"I know I know, but I'm quite tired. I must be off then, Edmund, you can show Colette the rest of the castle if you want. Or you can just find something to occupy yourselves with." Then she giggled and walked away, leaving Edmund and I in a bit of an awkward silence. Did Lucy not pick up on her innuendo right there?

"You know, grassy t-shirts do wonders for your eyes"

I turned around to meet Edmund trying to hold back laughter. So I laughed. I laughed at the utter absurdity of the situation. I laughed at the fact that a King had caught me before a bath. I laughed that I had met a King in the first place. I laughed that I was still in some dream country. I just laughed at the ridiculousness of everything. Because if I didn't laugh, I don't know what I would have done.

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**Ok, so I'm really not that fond of this chapter. I had this extravagant plan in my head of how Edmund and Colette would come to recognize each other (well, it wasn't all that extravagant but I thought they could like meet over the table, cute scene insert) but this sorta came along and now I'm a bit iffy about this whole chapter, so i re-wrote it and re-wrote it again, henceforth the delay of this chapter, but I'm STILL unsure about this one. SO, I need your advice people! Did you like how this panned out? Should I change it? Any tips? Also, I'd apreciate any ideas that any of you would have for this story, they're quite amusing and could lead to reallllllllllly funny chapters! Catch ya later x**


	5. Ew, rotting cell phones

**Wassap emperors and empresses? A short chapter, but do read on. Meet you at the bottom!**

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"So, Lady Colette, what do you suggest we do to occupy ourselves?"

After the giggles subsided Edmund and I were left with the decision of what to do. I was glad that our little bathroom debacle could be now regarded as a humorous topic of conversation, if you will. That was the better option; I would not have liked for it to be an awkward moment that no one dared to speak of. But couldn't miss the double innuendo of his question. It made me blush.

"We could just plod around Cair Pavarel?"

I finished my sentence with a sense of question as Edmund was looking at me funnily.

"What?"

I didn't like being started at. It made me uncomfortable. Did I have something on my face?

"Do I have something on my face? I do don't I? Well this is embar-"

"Did you just say 'plod'?" Ah, I see. Edmund wasn't fluent in the language of horrible English.

"Well yes I did. I did just say 'plod'" I replied and triumphantly smiled at him. Why I did this I don't know.

He laughed at me and walked away.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I semi-shouted.

"Aren't you coming?" He said without turning around.

By this stage Edmund had walked out of the dining room and around the corner. I basically had to run to catch up with him

"Where are you going?" I questioned. I didn't like him for just walking away like that. Insert frowning face.

"Well, I'm showing you around." Before I could protest that I've already been showed around by many people, he continued. "I know you've been there and done that, but how about I show you again. Just for the sake of it."

I grudgingly agreed with him and we walked down the hallway. Suddenly he turned into a room and I followed.

"Hey, I've been here before. Just before, actually."

"Was this before or after I bumped into you earlier?"

We were standing in the middle of the library I had been in. It seemed I needed to be shown around again anyway. I didn't even realise I had been down that corridor until we ended up in that room. This may take a while, you know, learning my way around the castle.

"Oh, after our 'bumping' as you so proudly call it."

He blushed. Heh heh heh

"It's my personal library."

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to intrude earlier Edmund." Great, now I looked like a snooper.

"No no I'm glad you came here" he said as stopped walking past the bookshelves and turned to face me.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it actually. It's marvellous" I replied and smiled up at the King. He was smiling back at me, and said "Would you like to sit down? My legs are tired."

"Sounds like a plan"

So Edmund and I sat down on the plush sofa in the middle of the library. It was very warm and cosy, its deep earthy tones brought a sense of warmth and home to the library.

"So, Colette, may I ask, how did you arrive here?"

And then I started my story.

".. So then you see, my best friend Charlotte decided, oh you know what? Colette doesn't have enough on her plate already, how about I force her to come out partying with me the night before her final exam and then, while she's trying to recover from the worst headache known to man, i'll root my boyfriend in the room next door to hers and won't let her sleep. Oh, and ill also drop all her stuff on the sidewalk, including her brand new pho- Oh crap! My cell phone! It's still on the sidewalk!"

My cell phone was my child. My baby. I treasured that thing. I payed a good $600 for it, and decided I would keep it in mint condition. Now it was probably rotting away in a gutter.

"What is a cell phone?" Edmund questioned. His face showed that he was clearly puzzled as to why I was worrying about this 'cell phone' so much.

"It's like a portable telephone. You know, that contraption you call people on?"

All the while I was waving my arms around trying to mime what a cell phone was. God I am hopeless.

"A.. portable telephone?"

"Yes, so when you like, oh I don't know, leave the house and such, you can take it with you in your pocket so anyone can reach you"

"Oh"

"Yeah, they're quite good actually."

After this we were left in a bit of an awkward situation, so I decided to pick up where the story left off.

"So anyway, then I wound up in some strange field and Peter, Lucy and Queen Susan rocked up on these horses, and Peters one had a massive horn coming out from its head, a-"

"Peters 'horse' is a unicorn, henceforth the horn Colette."

Ah. I see. Everything is so much clearer now.

"Oh. Right. Um so then they took me, well, here, and blah blah blah, etcetera ecterea ecterea, now I am here with you."

"Sounds like quite the journey"

"Well yes, it was wasn't it."

After this, sadness overcame me a little. I mean, I was truly loving this magical land of Narnia, where Kings roamed around on unicorns. But I was missing Charlotte. And Will. And my family, all of whom were stuck back, or forward, in 2010. I looked up at Edmund, who was watching me intently whilst I was having my little reminiscing-I-miss-home escapade in my head. I felt like a fool, just sitting there, looking at him back. But I didn't care all that much. I mean, if I was going to be here for a while, which is what I gathered from Lucy earlier, I was going to make the most of it, right? I mean, I could totally work with this. I liked their clothes, their food, their Just King... this could totally work. I liked working. Working is good. So I would work with it. So I would look at Edmund. How could you not? His eyes were somewhat memorizing in all their chocolate-brown goodness, capturing me in a somewhat trance. But then I heard repeated banging on the wooden door of the library, and Queen Susan barged in.

"Edmund, I think its time to leave our guest and let her get some sleep"

"Oh no its fine Queen Susan, I was having a great time"

"Yes mother, anything else you would like?"

"No no Colette, I will escort you to your room now"

"Colette, why are you calling her Queen Susan?"

Huh, why was I still calling her a Queen?

"That's because I am a Queen, Edmund, and Colette is just properly addressing me"

Ooh, step back Mz Queen.

"Just call her Susan"

"Edmund, stop stalling us!"

So the banter started and I just sat there like a stunned mullet, waiting for them to, well, shut up.

"Come on Colette, I will show you to your room. Goodnight Edmund." Susan grabbed my arm and basically dragged me out of my seat and out of the library, and I tried to say goodbye to Edmund. Operation failed miserably. before I knew it, Susan and I stood in front of a door.

"This will be your room. It's our spare room, as it seems you will be staying here longer than a guest."

Ouch.

"Lucy's room is just across from here, Peters is next to her and Edmunds is next to Peters. You'll find your way around, yes?"

I just automatically nodded, not really understanding a word of what she was saying.

"Well, goodnight then Colette." At this she whipped around and walked down the hallway.

I opened the door and waltzed around my new room. It was huge, and very pretty. Oh, did I mention there was a massive bed smack bang in the middle of the room? It was fabulous. At least I would sleep well. And that is exactly what I did. And I dreamt about a pair of certain brown eyes and a certain Just King.

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**Ah ok so I've decided to keep the last chapter as is, and I've taken in your reviews and suggestions and I hope I did one of you proud with my technology mention! So are we hating on Susan? I hope so. She's so sly; and you'll see why, and to what extent, later on. She sure does hate Colette. I've got the next few chapters planned out, and boy they're going to be fun. Drama is on the horizon, my dear friends, and Colette is not going to be happy. Hehehe. I also might start putting reccs up. So review if you want another chapter! Oh, and I forgot to spell-check this chapter before I uploaded it, so just correct me on my mistakes if you find any, ok? OKAY!**


	6. Ew, broken glass

**Hey sultans and sultanesses! No I don't know if that is a word. But go on and read, meet me at the bottom!**

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Now of course, it is well known that I am not the heavy sleeper. Anything that creeps or bumps will wake me in the night, and the fact that I was lazily spread out on a four-poster king size bed didn't make me any more invincible to the sounds of the night. Also, the added extra that I was not sleeping safely in my own bed, in my own apartment, surrounded by my stuff did not help one bit. So when I rolled over during my sleep and was rudely startled by a giant clash, I didn't know where to run or hide. I jumped up and looked around, yet nothing seemed out of place; this only seemed to scare me more. If nothing was out of place, what could have possibly been the cause of the smash? It sounded like shattering glass on the tiles of the castle floor, yet nothing in my room seemed to be shaken. It was also extremely dark in my room, as the door was fully closed and the curtains were drawn; yes, I sleep like a vampire. Get over it. I slowly creeped to the door and opened it a little, just enough so I could slyly poke my head out and check for murderers. Unfortunately, or fortunately, no one was there. This should have put my mind at rest, right? No chance. Because then all I could think about was how someone in another room of the castle was being mercilessly stabbed repeatedly in the stomach; yeah, I have quite the imagination.

So I put on my investigation hat and tip toed outside, walking down the hallway. Then, another loud crash came from the direction I was walking to, and I jumped a few feet to the sky. It was clear to say I was scared out of my wits. It was still dark, and it looked as if all those lion paintings were haunting me. Great. So I kept creeping my way up the hallway, making sure there were no killers in sight. I came to the door of the kitchen, and debated with myself whether or not to go in. I mean the kitchen has knives, forks and sporks for that matter, all of which could seriously harm and or injure a person. I decided to suck it up and go into the kitchen, so with a big breath, I opened the door and stepped inside. I tried to look fearless, but probably looked stupid. Very, very stupid. It was only until I heard the sound of a glass hitting the table top did I realise that I had company. Not a murderer, not a thief, but a King. King Edmund to be exact. There he was leaning against the table top in all his pyjama clad glory. By pyjamas I mean black shorts and a white t-shirt. Holy mother chucker. I was getting hotter, and it wasn't because of the temperature outside.

"Colette, what are you doing?" He said, emphasising on the 'are'.

"I, uh, well I hear odd noises, and I decided to check it out."

He laughed.

"Colette, Cair Paravel is the safest place in all of Narnia. You have nothing to worry about."

I frowned. "Yes, but I heard a smash. I thought someone may be hurt."

"Oh, that was me, I accidentally broke a glass." At this he brought forward a dustpan which was filled with shards of broken glass. "See?"

I merely nodded.

"What were you doing up anyway?"

I walked towards him, and poked him in the chest, and smirked.

"You woke me up"

"Is that so? Well, I'm awfully sorry Colette, how will I ever make it up to you?" At this, he smirked, knowing he was getting the upper hand in our little banter.

"You can tell me why you were up" I poked him in the chest again. I liked poking him in the chest. I found it amusing how he feigned pain every time I did it. That and how I could feel his toned chest through his t-shirt.

He put on a pouty face. "I was just getting a drink. I don't believe that's too sinister."

"It's sinister if you scare the living daylights out of your sleeping guest"

"It's not my fault if said guest is a light sleeper"

"But it's your fault if said guest had a heart attack her first night here"

"But said guest shouldn't have been so stupid to believe someone was breaking into the castle"

"Hey" I stepped back. No one calls me stupid and gets away with it. "I am not stupid!"

"Hey, I'm not stupid!" He mocked.

"Stop mocking me!" I half whisper-yelled.

"Stop mocking me!" He mocked, again.

Getting frustrated at my lack of witty calls, I turned on my heel and walked back to my room. I silently chuckled to myself, recalling tonight's crazy events. If everything went as well as this, I might be able to be happy here. I mean, Peter was great, Lucy was sweet, Edmund was, well, Edmund, constant wit and banter which I didn't mind, and Susan, well we don't have to divulge into friendly details about her now do we. I hopped back into my bed and snuggled up, comfortable that I didn't come across any type of crazy-ass murderer, but thankful that I came across a crazy-ass King Edmund.

The next day, I woke up extremely tired. And grumpy. Why did I wake up in such a horrible way? Because at exactly 5.30AM, Peter swung open my door, drew back my curtains and woke me up. Well, I thought that there was some sort of raging fire slowly burning down the castle, and I got one hell of a fright. Peter just stood there, leaning back onto the wall and waited for me to get my bearings together. I was looking around intently, trying to figure out what the heck was going on, and why I was up so freaking early.

"Peter, what time is it?" I said drowsily.

He looked down at his watch, although I'm certain he knew the time already.

"It is exactly 5.30 Colette. And time for you to get up." Cool, calm and collected. That was Peter pre-6:00AM. As for me, I was still half-asleep and looking for a raging fire.

"And why, Peter, are you waking me up so early this morning?"

"This is normal routine for us Colette" he said. Then a hurling missile in the shape of a fluffy pillow hit me in the head, and Peter finished, "Come on, get up." And he just walked away. Walked. Away. I should mention here that I am certainly not a morning person. It takes me a good half hour to actually convince myself I should get out of bed, and then another 15 minutes to actually act upon it. But sometimes, a certain blow to the head with a pillow wakes you up faster, and I was up and about by 5.35. I was grumpy as hell, but nonetheless, I was up.

It was then that Lucy strolled into my room. She looked happy and bright-eyed, a startling comparison to me; my brown hair was all over the place, my face had pillow creases basically engraved into it, and my right arm was sore. I got even more grumpy after that.

"Good morning Colette" Lucy said, cheer and joy in her voice.

"Morning" I replied, a little half-heartedly.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Fine and dandy" I replied, obvious sarcasm flowing through my words.

"Gee, you're exactly like Edmund in the morning. I think I'm going to leave now, if your anything like him I don't want to bear your wrath" and with that she left, giggling to herself the whole way. I guess I liked that about Lucy; she was ALWAYS happy. Always, without fail. She never had anything bad to say, and I admired her for that. But back to me, I still had my hair to worry about.

Lucy had brought and left a new dress for me to wear, this time it was white and flowy. I liked it a lot. After washing up, I decided to make a start to tame my hair. I stood at the dresser, ignoring the comfortable chair waiting, and started to brush my locks. After a while, I started to hum a tune, my day seeming a little bit brighter and better than it did before. But then, the inevitable happened. Now, I'm sure we all are accustomed to annoying songs getting stuck and remaining in our head for hours, days or weeks even. I am probably the greatest example of that alive. So as I was brushing my hair, the stupid, nothing less tune I was humming along to evolved into none other than Take it off. By Kesha. Bloody hell. It was horrible. I mean, I'd rather freaking Hannah Montana than that. There I was, brushing my hair, and singing Take It Off, all the while I was bopping and swaying around to the beat. Oh hell, I thought, and started jamming. I was really getting into it, although I knew that due to this, it would be stuck in my head for a good few days. I think I was rocking out for a good 10 minutes before I heard coughing at the door. I rushed around and looked at the door, finding none other than Edmund standing in the door way. Mind you, my hair brush was now halfway through my hair, dangling and waiting there.

"Hi" I said, and waved at him.

"Wicked dance moves" he commented, skipping straight past the pleasantries.

"I know, I'm quite the dancer huh?"

"I know, I'm quite the dancer huh?" He mocked me, again.

"Just kidding, just kidding, although it's hilarious to see your face every time I do that"

"Ha. Ha. Ha" I laughed dryly, and continued on with my hair.

"Are you coming down for breakfast?" He shouted after he started walking down the hallway.

"Sure" I shouted back, placing down the hairbrush and slipping on my shoes.

He ran back to the door way, and waited for me. "Well come on then!"

"Ok, I'm coming, I'm coming!" and I walked out of the door.

Edmund and I were almost at the dining room when we bumped into Susan. It looked as if she was not in the best mood today. Hell, you could tell she wasn't in a great mood if you were 5 miles away. Stress and frustration were almost seeping off of her. Completely ignoring me, she turned to her brother.

"Get down to the dining room now. I have news" and with that she left.

I turned to Edmund, and he looked equally as puzzled. Susan turned around, and shouted "Go" and we scurried off, like children told off by their mother.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"I have absolutely no idea" He replied.

We walked to the dining room in silence, quietly awaiting Susan's news.

_This will not be good._

____

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**So there we go. Ok I haven't updated like I usually have, but with Christmas and work, AND I have a record number of 8 books to read for school next year, I've been a bit stressed out. Then again, I spent most of yesterday watching ItsKingsleyBitch on youtube, so so funny. **

**But ANYWAY, I decided to finish on a slight cliffhanger because I haven't done that before, so yah. I also thought this chapter was long, but it isn't really. I promise they will start getting longer. I also don't know why this message is in italics, but everytime I try to change it my page has a spasm. So REVIEW my lovelies, and I'll see you next time. I'm tired and want pancakes. **


	7. Ew, daft princess

**Hello monarchs and monarchies? (I'm not sure if that's one, I'm running low here). Read. Meet me later. Sweet as.**

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In the dining room sat Peter and Lucy, who were both speaking to each other in hushed tones. I was uber suspicious at this point. What was going on? When they sensed our presence, they looked up, half smiling at us both.

"Would either of you like to tell us what's going on?"

Well I was going to go for a more subtle approach, but I guess Edmund just said it. He was looking cross, and Peter looked conflicted.

"Pete. Tell me. Now."

Now Peter looked really conflicted. And poor Lucy seemed as confused as ever. As for me, I was just standing there, waiting for someone to get on with it.

At that moment, Susan walked into the room, 3 people following her. They were obviously in a rush, and stressing out. Susan though, in contrary to before, was as cool as a cucumber. She gave the people orders and with a quick "Yes my Queen" they left, taking pages upon pages of what looked like instructions with them.

"Susan, wha-" Edmund started.

"I think we should all eat some breakfast, don't you think"

Great, now Susan was stalling. She nearly pushed us down here and now she was stalling.

"But Su-" Edmund started again.

"The foods getting cold."

Oh well this is fabulous. I hated it when people contradicted themselves. And now susan was just peacefully sitting down, eating her breakfast, while the rest of us crowded around her, our mouths gaping and minds confused. Good, I thought, I hope you feel claustrophobic.

"Could you all please still down, you're making me nervous."

Oh how Susan enraged me. We're making HER nervous. And her goddamn snotty tone was making me mad.

But Lucy sat down, as did Peter, and Edmund grabbed my arm and dragged me to the seat next to him.

"Well, tell me then."

Silence followed.

"We're having some visitors staying for a while."

Was that it? I thought someone died, drowned or both of the above. A sense of relief flooded over me. But everyone else looked more worried. What could possibly be bad about visitors? I'd take them over death and the like any day.

"And who are these visitors?" piped up Lucy from the corner.

Susan finished chewing. "I'm not sure. Word got through this morning that we should set up a room."

I was beyond caring at this point. Peter and Edmund seemed more at ease, but Lucy still looked worried.

"Is that it?" questioned Edmund.

"Well yes" replied Susan and patted her mouth with a napkin. "Now if that's all that's needed, I must be off now."

Now I was confused. "If that's all that's needed?" What? That doesn't even make sense! And didn't she call us here?

Then Susan got up, pushed in her chair and left, flicking her long brown hair over her shoulder as she did so. I just sat there, dumbfounded. What the heck just happened?

After eating, I sat down, wondering what to do. Peter, Lucy, Edmund and I were still at the table, Lucy and Edmund finishing their breakfast.

Peter looked up at me, and I asked him "What should I be doing today Peter?"

"Well, today I will be meeting with the foreign affairs instructor, so im not much help there" and he turned to his siblings, "but I'm sure Lucy or Edmund can accompany you today."

"I'm sorry Colette, but I must meet with the nymphs today. That counts me out" said Lucy, as she was slowly rising from her chair. "I must be off now, actually. Goodbye!" and with that she skipped out of the room and Peter followed her.

"Well I guess its just me and you today buddy" I said to Edmund whilst nudging him in the arm. This caused him to drop his pancake off his fork and onto his plate, splashing syrup and honey all over the place. A bit landed right in the middle of the bustier of my white dress.

"Great" I muttered as I tried rubbing the syrup off with a serviette. This of course only made matters worse as the small drop of syrup turned into a giant stain.

"Hey! What the heck!" Edmund whined as he tried to fork up the pancake again.

"You got syrup on my dress!" I whined.

He looked offended. "I did not! You knocked my pancake off! There's no syrup on your dress!"

"Of course there's syrup on my dress! Do you think I'm lying?" I quickly replied, pointing to the stain.

He looked down, but then his eyes flicked back up at mine, and I realised the stain was conveniently placed right in the middle of my upper anatomy. I looked back up at Edmund who was now trying to stab the pancake again with his fork. I snatched the fork out of his hand and gently poked the pancake, getting it on the fork. I pushed the fork into his face, smirking.

"Wasn't that hard" I commented, handing him the fork.

"Is that dress ruined now?" he asked, concern written on his face.

"Yeah, I think so" I replied, genuinely sad at the fact that the pretty dress was ruined.

"Good" and he flicked the last piece of pancake at me. It hit me right on the collarbone. My eyes widened in shock and he sat there, laughing and smirking at me in his Edmund way.

I looked down at my plate to find some makeshift grenades, but realised I ate all my food. And now there was nothing on Edmunds plate. So I just started at him, giving him what hopefully looked like a dangerous stink eye.

"Well, as pleasant as this has been," I said as I stood up, "I must now go and change clothes. Oh wait" I pointed my finger to my lip, "I don't have any extra clothes." My voice was so monotone and sarcastic it hurt. "What do you suggest I do now Edmund?" and I poked him in the arm.

"How do you feel about vests and tights?"

Before I knew it I was being dragged to Edmunds room. Black poufy tights, a white shirt and a brown vest was thrown onto his giant bed, and Edmund turned around, his hands on his hips.

"Will this do?"

"Of course!" I ran over to the bed and grabbed the clothes. I couldn't wait to put on some comfortable pants, just the sweatpants I had back home. Ah, life will be grand. Then I stood there awkwardly, waiting for Edmund to leave me change.

"Oh, uh, I'll be outside" and Edmund walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I quickly got dressed and rolled up the white dress into a little ball. Ill have to ask Edmund where the laundry is later. Then I walked outside and met Edmund.

"They suit you" he complimented.

"Are you saying I look like a boy?" I accused.

"Uh, no I-"

I laughed. "I'm just kidding!" I walked out in front of Edmund, and opened the door to the garden. "Well come on then!"

So Edmund and I just spent the whole day outside. We talked about random stuff, we sat around doing nothing.

I turned to face Edmund. We were lying down on the grass, spread out like star-fish. It was quite amusing actually. And he was quite pretty. The sunlight really captured his handsome-ness. But the peacefulness of the moment was broken when Peter walked along and threw grass in both Edmund and my eyes.

"Peter!" Edmund shouted and sat up. "What the?"

"Edmund, who's your mate?" asked Peter, and chuckled.

That's when I sat up. "Peter!" I shouted. "What's with the grass?"

Peters face dropped. "Oh, I'm sorry Colette. I thought you were a boy." I looked at him sternly. "I mean, I didn't think you were, a, a boy, I just thought, I" Peter fumbled over his words and I took a quick glance at Edmund who was laughing and face palming himself.

"Pete, shut up"

"Right, oh, uh, right." He looked at me, "Sorry Colette"

I ripped a handful of grass out of the dirt and threw it at Peter; he dodged it by a centimetre.

"You can't throw at all" commented Edmund. I gave him a dirty look.

"I can so"

"Cannot"

"Can to!"

At this point we were both standing up, throwing insults back and forth like school children.

"You couldn't throw if your life depended on it Colette"

Every time he made a smart remark he smirked and laughed. Always with the smirking and laughing.

"Well you can't eat like a normal human being!" I rebutted and stood proudly, my hands on my hips and nose in the air.

He took a step forward, bringing himself closer to me. "At least I don't miss my mouth!"

I stood there wondering what on God's green earth he could be talking about when I remembered the syrup stain.

"I didn't miss my mouth! At least I don't flick pancake at innocent bystanders!" I half-shouted, and took a step closer to him; I was trying to act tough you see.

"At least I don't, single handily, create massive stains on my clothes! I am not a toddler!" Again, he stepped forward, and I realised that we were extremely close to each other; our faces were mere inches apart.

"At least I am not the instigator of those stains!"

"Excuse me?" said Peter.

"What?" we said in perfect unison, probably harsher than we should.

Peter grinned. It was an evil grin.

"We have to go to dinner now. If you two are done with your banter, that is." He turned then, and strolled towards the doors of the castle. I grabbed Edmunds arm and dragged him along.

"What are you doing!" he exclaimed, looking down to where I was yanking his arm.

"I'm hungry, and it's time to eat. Derrrrrr" I was acting childish now. I didn't care.

This continued until we reached the dining room. I swear, I always seemed to end up here. The bickering continued still, in hushed tones of course, until Susan entered. It was as if she was the cold, ice witch the way the strutted everywhere she went. She sat down and started to eat, but this time, she sat at the head of the table, the opposite side to Peter. It was very odd to say the least. She gave me a strage look, probably due to my clothes.

"Ed, I hope you've prepared." God, she was so annoying! All she does is order everyone around. And if she's not doing that, she's complaining a bit more about the world and all that's in it.

Of course, I don't think Edmund was listening as he was trying to shove half a steak down his throat. It was quite gross actually. I mean, is it that hard to just cut little pieces and gracefully put them in your mouth? Then again, he doesn't do well with cutlery I thought, remembering the fork and pancake situation this morning. But still, moot point. It was gross. Far out Edmund. Watching him eat was like watching a snake eat a rhino, disturbing to say the least. I was honestly expecting his mouth to unhinge.

"Prepare for what?"

Although, with his mouth full it sounded like "propahre pho waaa", but anyway.

"Prepare for the arrival of Princess Laurenne obviously. Truly, are you daft Edmund?"

At this, Edmund stopped shoving food mercilessly down his throat and looked straight at Susan, a hint of shock and disgust in his eyes.

"What do you mean 'Princess Laurenne..'"

Susan sighed, obviously fed up and bored. "Princess Laurenne is arriving tonight with her mother and father. You do remember them, right? King and Queen Ducan. They will stay only for a short while," she kind of looked my way as she said this, hinting out that I'm overstaying her welcome. Ok Sue Sue. It's not my fault I wound up here.

"and are arriving soon." She went back to eating, and Edmund looked like he was going to kill someone and/or throw up on them.

"And when were you planning on telling me this Susan? Or is this your whacked up idea of 'surprise'"

Susan stood up. "Look Edmund. Princess Laurenne is of age now to find herself a suitable suitor"

Hah. Suitable suitor. That sounded so dumb. 'Suitable suitor'. Pssssh.

_Edmunds the suitor you dumb head._

Shit.

Now I feel sick.

Edmund was far from eating now, and I think the whole potato he swallowed was about to come straight back up.

"You cannot expect me to court her Susan!"

Susan just looked plain bored now. "And why not? It's not like you've found any other decent ladies around here."

_Oh Susan, that hurt. You cut me real deep. Like a knife to the heart. Next, time try harder._

But then I had time to think, and her words spun over and over in my head, like a never ending voice reel. _"It's not like you've found any other decent ladies around here." _I wasn't even decent. How pitiful of me. I must have looked like a god forsaken fool with my disappointed look on my face, and Peter and Lucy most definitely noticed. Edmund on the other hand was too busy trying to restrain himself to notice my sheer sadness at that moment.

Then a servant ran into the room, whispered something in Susan's ear and ran off again. I recognized her as one of the three servants from earlier on.

"Well, if that's all done, I must go and greet the royals. Edmund, I'm expecting you down there in five minutes. As with the rest of you." With that, she turned and left for the staircase. I then heard a few "Hello darling!"-s and "pleased to meet you"-s.

Well, this is just spectacular.

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**Ok, I know, I know. TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY? WHAT? WHAT? It's crazy. But what can I say. ANYWHO I don't really have anything to say, which is strange. BUT, be grateful for this chapter; my laptop crashed a record 7 times whilst I was writing it. And now I have to go to work. See you soon! Oh, and in case you didn't realise, the italics in the story is Colettes thoughts. XO**


	8. Ew, lathargic Duchans

**Kings and Queens, do read on...**

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"What do we do?" whisper-yelled Lucy.

I wasn't too sure why she was freaking out over all this. I mean, its not like her sister was trying to steal away her man.

_Say whaaaaaaaaaat?_

I mean, her brothers independence.

"Well, I don't know!" whisper-yelled Peter, who started standing up and brushing down his clothes. "I suppose we go greet Princess Laurenne?"

"No!" yelled Lucy. She had gotten past the whispering now.

All the while Edmund just sat there, confused. And slightly pissed off. I would be too, if my sister was trying to set me up. Then he stood up and walked out the door.

"Where are you going?" shouted Peter

Edmund spun around and saluted Peter.

"Following the Queens orders" he said with a grimace, and made his way down the hall.

Of course, Peter, Lucy and I followed him to the pit of doom that was Princess Laurenne's arrival. We trudged down the stairs, and I wondered why Lucy was so down about all this. It was strange to say the least.

When we reached the front door, I saw a commotion of people surrounding Susan. They were all greeting each other, taking suitcases and bags away from the guests. I caught a glimpse of a large gold crown. Ugh, egotistic much?

I really hated these people.

"Edmund, Peter, Lucy, please meet King and Queen Duchan. You remember them from their last visit, don't you?" asked Susan, in the sickliest sweet voice known to man. At this, the three stepped politely forward and bowed.

And don't think I forgot the fact that she didn't mention my name in her introductions. So pissed.

"And this is Lady Colette" Lucy added, pushing me forward into their line. I did an awkward half curtsey, and smiled at the guests. So far, I hadn't seen the Princess. What I did see however was a sick grimace cross King and Queen Duchans face. What the? Peter and Edmund must have noticed that as well, as Peter pulled me back and Edmund spoke.

"I trust that you will get along splendidly with our new friend Lady Colette" Edmund said, whilst turning to face me, almost 'presenting' me to Stupid Duchans. "She's quite the character" he added, a little sparkle of mischief in his stupid pretty eye.

Then I did a sort of half head 'sup' nod to Queen Duchan, and extended the same warm sup nod to Susan, effectively ending that conversation.

"I trust our rooms are ready for us Susan? I am quite lethargic after such a long trip" whined Queen Duchan, her husband merely nodding in agreement by her side. Who the hell labelled jet lag as 'lethargic?' I mentally face palmed myself at Queen Duchan's stupidity, and Edmund snickered at my reaction and deadpan face.

"Of course, Saire will show you to your rooms" Susan replied, and muttered to a servant now known as Saire to grab the five suitcases resting by the royals legs. What could they have possibly filled those five suitcases with for a two day trip really puzzled me. "But, forgive me for my curiosity-"

Susan forgiving for her rude nature? Never!

"but I was just wondering, where is Princess Laurenne?"

Ah, Princess Laurenne. Que bashing fists here.

"Oh Susan, don't you worry, she is most definitely looking forward to seeing you!" exclaimed the King, glancing at Edmund while he spoke, "but she was held up in Anglociland and will be arriving at nightfall."

"Oh!" Susan sighed, a sign of relief washing over her features. "As long as she will be coming! I cannot wait to see her!"

I think they must have just remembered the fact that Peter, Lucy, Edmund and I were still standing there, as they quickly wrapped up their conversation and were ushered away by Saire. Susan waited behind until they were out of sight.

"That wasn't so bad now, was it?" she said. You could practically hear the proudness dripping from her voice.

"And Edmund! Aren't you glad Princess Laurenne is coming later on! It will give you time to bathe and prepare further!"

We all stood there, dumbfounded once more. The nerve of her!

Then she turned around and walked down the hallway in the same direction as the royals, her nose so far up in the air it hurt to look. Then Edmund stormed off, probably to crush his bath or something-you know, to rub it in Susan's face a bit more. But then again, who knows if he was actually waiting for Princess Laurenne. I certainly didn't know his past. For all I knew, he could be looking forward to her arrival. Maybe they were secret lovers in the past. They probably had a heap of history together. After a while of pondering the endless possibilities of the past of Princess Laurenne and Edmund, it came to my attention that Peter was still standing in the hall with me. Well, actually, it didn't subtly come to my attention. It was more like a complete barging in of thoughts by Peter dearest.

"Colette? Hello?" Peter sung, all the while flapping his hands in front of my face. Honestly, I don't see the point of doing that if you're trying to break someone out of their daydream. All it leads to are multiple poked eyes.

"Yes?"

He looked as if he was contemplating what to say next. It reminded me of the countless inner monologue fights I've had with myself. And now I realise how that that sounds and will never mention it again.

"So, do you want to explain why you look as if someone's mercilessly gutted your stomach and or heart at the mention of Princess Laurenne? Or should I just come up with some wild conclusion myself?" he questioned in the most sarcastic tone possible. Aside from the knowing smirks and all, I would have never expected Peter to be as sarcastic as that. I thought all the sarcasm and constant wit was left over for Edmund. But then I registered his question and all the humour I might have mustered a few seconds ago vanished as I tried to cover up my loathing towards Princess Laurenne.

"Peter, I don't know what you could possibly be talking about"

Lame, I know.

"Oh please, do explain" he sighed, not giving up. It scared me a little; the fact that Peter actually seemed to know me.

Then it was my turn to sigh, as I turned around and walked in the opposite direction as Susan previously did, muttering "I think we should sit down for this one Pete". He followed me.

I plonked myself on one of the plump sofas of Edmunds library. At first I thought this was a slightly stupid place to confess to Peter why I hated the girl who could potentially steal said owner of the library away from me. But then I remembered how he had stormed off upstairs, probably to his room, and pushed all thoughts of rooms and places and stairs and beds out of my mind as I waited for the Spanish Inquisition held by Peter. Of course, it didn't take to long for him to start questioning me. Hell, he didn't even take a seat before he started.

"Are you going to start speaking?"

Geez. No fooling around here.

"Ok you want to know what's wrong?" I questioned, my arms already starting to flail around. This happened when I got flustered you see. "I am "looking as if my heart was gutted by a fish" as you previously stated because I, the mere peasant girl whom your sister has clear hatred for, may have taken a liking to your overly sarcastic, annoying and somewhat dim witted, glorious brother who," I stopped to take a breath and look at the clock on the wall behind Peter's head, "in a full 2 hours will be set up with some nosey-assed daft dimbo who probably doesn't know the first law of physics and probably like her, and. Not. Me. Kapito?"

Yes I had ended up standing up and pacing around the room. Yes Peter looked as if he had just seen a ghost.

"What in Aslan's name is 'kha-pei-tow'?" Peter asked, completely puzzled.

I just started at him. He could not be serious.

Obviously realising I was about to slash him because of his previous question, he took on the calm cool and collected role and pulled up a chair, slightly slouching on it."So you fancy my brother, huh?" he mocked, his eyebrows raising, stirring me on.

"Peter, let me ask you a question. Do you value your life?" I asked menacingly. Or, as menacingly as I could muster.

"Okay okay calm down" he said while ushering me to sit.

"Colette, Princess Laurenne is, um, well... she has her, 'assets' if you know what I mean, but she has the personality of a sea rock."

This made me chuckle. Good analogy Peter, good analogy. Ha. _Sea rock_...

"So don't worry" and he slouched in his chair again.

"Why don't you seem surprised?" I queried, scrunching up my face a little.

"Really Colette, how stupid do you think I am?" and with this, he got up and walked out the door.

I sat there for a second, confused out of my wits and wondering why the hell people keep walking out on me after leaving me stupid cryptic messages.

"Oh" Peter added, his head popping into the room through the doorway. I shot up 10 metres from my chair in shock. "And I never said anything about gutting fish." And then he walked away.

Cue mega face palm, some blushing and a death threat to a certain Princess Laurenne who will be gracing the castles walls in a few hours? Sure, why not. I mean, its not like I just admitted to a High King that I had a freaking crush on his brother like a dippy schoolgirl. Oh Colette, why can't you just keep your mouth shut...

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***hides* So I know I've been away but and haven't uploaded in a while but I've been super busy with holiday homework and Christmas and New Yearetc... Speaking of which, HAPPY NEW YEAR 3 You know what would make my year special? A review from you lovely people... ;)**


	9. Ew, nightmares

**Knights and Knight-esses? Meet me at the bottom!**

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So, I had exactly 2 hours to try to convince myself that Princess-snotty-ass-Laurenne wouldn't ruin my life and all that was in it. Drastic? I know. I tend to do that sometimes. Especially when I was extremely over-whelmed and forced to deal with a pair of dumb-ass royals who are to 'lethargic' to know better. After my little revelation with Peter in the library, I walked back up to my room, which was the only place (I decided) where Susan could not ruin my life. I know, drastic again right? Wrong. She was literally making my life horrible. Her distaste towards me was obvious, but that didn't annoy me the slightest. What did piss me off was the fact that, as I've probably already said earlier, she walked around with her nose two feet up in the air and herself a first priority. Something was definitely up her ass.

When I reached my room, I found my bed readymade and looking absolutely divine to sleep in. Really, what's the point in me staying up to meet the Princess? Oh wait, there is no point. My decision making tonight really has gone mental hasn't it?

So I went to bed. Yes, it may have been only 8.30PM, but really, who needs details?

"Colette, what are you doing here?" shouted Edmund, whipping up from his bed and looking around suspiciously, almost afraid. Almost as if he was hiding something.

"Where am I?" I asked, in a daze.

"Colette, what are you doing here?" he asked again, this time less loudly.

I looked around. It appeared that I was in Edmunds bedroom. And I was sitting on his dresser, kicking my legs up and down, like a little girl. I caught my reflection in the mirror opposite the dresser. My hair was up in plaits and I was wearing what looked like... rags? The rags were smeared in dirt, grass and stones in the pockets of my make-shift clothes. I looked down to my feet and saw them bare. They were dirty, cuts and grazes all over them. As if I had been walking barefoot for a mile. I looked back up at Edmund who was making his way over to me. He was only his boxer shorts, something I found quite strange. He was never, ever, underdressed. Though I wasn't complaining.

"Colette, I think you should leave" he said, his eyes cold and words harsh.

I jumped down from the dresser. I was almost three feet shorter than him. "But why?"

"Just. Go." He spat out. "You're ruining my floor. And my carpet"

I looked back down and the rug I was standing on was covered in mud foot prints. I could feel myself about to cry. Like a pansy.

"I'm so-"

"Eddie, come back to bed. I'm quite cold" a voice said. It was coming from Edmunds bed. All of a sudden, a girl appeared in the bed. She had long straight blonde hair which was in utter disarray. She had the bed sheets pulled up to her neck, and looked almost smug.

"Who is she, Eddie?"

"No one" Edmund spat, and turned around to this mystery girl. "No one you need to worry about Laurenne"

Then everything went spiralling out of control. I turned around to the door and ran as far as I could, but the door seemed further and further away, the longer and faster I ran. I spun around to the bed again, only to find Edmund basically making out with Laurenne. Turning around to the door again, I became frantic. It seemed the door had crept up on me, as now I was smack bang in front of it. I yanked it open, only to find a drunken King and Queen Duchan behind it, wine glasses in their hands and dizzy smiles on their faces. They saw me and laughed a most disgusting laugh, and I could hear the thoughts running through their heads.

_Peasant girl, what do you think you're doing?_

_Tomorrow, I might cut you up some new rags. After I use them to clean of course!_

_You've got a bit of... no a bit higher... to the left_

Edmund then appeared at my side, his hair completely dishevelled and glare fierce.

"Oh please Colette, who are you anyway?"

I abruptly woke up, scared out of my brains. Jumping out of bed, I ran to my dresser and lit the candle I kept near. I checked myself in the mirror; my hair? Not in plaits and not dirty as hell, yet I could have fixed it a bit better before I went to bed. The knots currently there were ridiculous. My face? Not covered in dirt, yet I could see darkish bags forming underneath my eyes. Not a good look. And my clothes? An over-sized t-shirt kindly sewed by one of the servants at the castle. Not cleaning rags. Okay. Sighing to myself, I decided to just get over it and calm the hell down. I blew out the candle and trudged over to my bed, hoping that the next time my eyes closed, I wouldn't have a goddamn nightmare.

Before the sun came up the next morning, I was awoken by a tired and slightly annoying Lucy, who in hindsight, looked like she hadn't slept all night. She wasn't up for pleasantries either; ripping away my blanket and forcibly yanking open my curtains. The same could be said for me I guess. After my horrible nightmare I hadn't slept much at all.

"Colette, time to get up" she half-smiled, and threw a dress onto my bed. I peeked over the covers to look at the dress. It was a deep shade of royal blue and had silver lining on the hem. Nice job Lucy.

"Yeah, blue looks good on you" she said flatly. "Peter said to tell you that you need to "get your behind upstairs" and he wanted me to give you this"

As Lucy said that a giant freaking pillow was hurdled at my face. Yes, that caused me to get up pretty fast.

"What the hell Lucy?"

"That's for bailing on us last night." She said. "How could you do that Colette? How? Do you know how bad it was?" It seemed I wasn't the only one that paced. "It was so freaking awkward!" And said 'freaking'. "I mean, I hate Laurenne as it is!"

Now, I was going to tell Lucy about my dream and all, but decided against it. I mean, she already looked like she needed some type of punching bag and what not, and I didn't want to add to that stress. But she did say she hated Laurenne. That's cool.

"And now you have to come to breakfast" She hurdled another pillow at me then, but I skilfully dodged it, like the master I am. "So hurry up! I'll be waiting outside."

With that she walked out of my room, leaving me to ponder on what the heck just happened. Oh, and how I was going to get the knots out of my hair. And one more thing? How I was going to face Edmund. And Princess Laurenne. Together. In the same room. In the same freaking vicinity. Queue the pacing.

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**It's been so long since I updated, I know! But here's what happened. SO, one summers night, I wrote this whole chapter. On my I-Pod. And my friend didn't know what it was, and deleted it. -_- Anyway, I've had a heap of homework and I start school soon, but hopefully I'll update more regularly :D Don't kill me! Put your pitchforks down! Also, where is this story going? I don't know. It's up to you. Ideas? XO**


	10. Ew, nooking necks

**Hello Williams and Kates! Meet me at the bottom!**

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So I put on the dress. And yes it looked fabulous. None of this grassy-shirt-rag-clothes-dirt-filled business I've previously sported. And I did my hair. Well, I tried. I went through two hairbrushes and half a headache, but that pesky knot at the back of my head was abolished and my hair was reformed. It was tied up in a bun though. I didn't say it tamed itself. I powdered my face, and put on my best smile. Or fake smile, whatever you want to call it. I slipped on my silver flats, took one last look at myself and walked out the door. Lucy was standing there, her hands on her hips and foot tapping impatiently. I made a mental note to myself to remember that Lucy was impatient. And to never keep her waiting. I brushed past her, nudging her arm.

"Shall we go?" I asked.

"Took you long enough" she muttered and walked, or stomped, down the corridor.

What the hell happened last night? Did someone kill her cat? Her rabbit? Her other mammal? Her talking horse! Oh I hope it wasn't the horse! I loved Scarla! Poor Scarla, I hope they didn't hurt her.

_Focus Colette._

Right.

I caught up to Lucy and kinda trailed behind her, hoping that she'd turn around sometime soon and tell me why she was acting as if she got poked with a pitchfork this morning. Poked with a pitchfork. Good one.

"Colette?"

She's alive! And talking!

"Yes Lucy?"

"Watch your step"

Huh?

Yes. I then proceeded to trip on a step that led to the tiled floor of the end of the hallway. And the floor hurts.

"Are you okay?" asked Lucy as she rushed over to pick me up from the floor.

"Uh, yeah, I think so" I said while rubbing my cheek which face-planted with the ground. Did I mention the ground was cold too?

"Oh my, I told you to watch your step!"

Then Peter walked past. He gave me a weird look, as if to say what-the-heck-are-you-doing-on-the-floor? I pointed to the step. He chuckled, said "Hello to you to" and walked off. Great.

Anyway, I got up and straightened out my dress, thanking Lucy for helping me up. Then she started to giggle at my display and I wondered how and why I continued to make a fool of myself to anyone and everyone around me. And now my hair was ruined. Fabulous.

"Come on, we'll be late"

We made it to breakfast on time, and were greeted with six pairs of awkward eyes. I say awkward eyes as everyone looked like they were so completely out of place. It was quite humorous actually.

"Hello all" started Lucy. "May I introduce to you Colette Blair. Colette, you've met King and Queen Duchan? This is their daughter Princess Laurenne."

Then a girl around my age stood up from alongside Edmund. She had brown hair with horrible streaks of blonde running through, her eyes were a grey-brown kind of colour and the snobby pout she was sporting made me want to laugh, vomit and cry all at the same time. Or one after the other, whichever suited best. She was wearing this dreadful purple frilly poofy dress contraption, long-sleeved yet very short. On top of her giant head was a small silver crown, encrusted with pink diamonds. But what shocked me back to oblivion was the fact that she was a spitting image of one of my, uh, less-trusted friends back in New York. And her name was Lauren. People would call her Lauren the skank, but that my dear friend is another story.

"Colette" she said, and curtsied at me.

"Hello" I curtly replied, and half-bowed half-curtsied. I am the epitome of awkward.

I caught Edmunds eye, and he looked quite amused at our little exchange. But then Laurenne sat down again and he was back to business, his poker face replacing his smile. Lucy and I then took a seat, she next to Peter and myself next to her. Susan and The Duchans were sitting together of course, chatting away like they were the best of friends. I honestly expected her to start braiding their hair and introduce a fun game of truth or dare on us all. Then the food was served and I ate in the most polite manner I could. Although I did catch Laurenne with some spinach in her teeth which made me giggle. When it was silent. And of course, everyone looked at me as if I was insane. And Peter laughed at me, again. And Edmund looked humoured, again. And Susan looked annoyed, again. All the while, Lucy just sat there, quietly eating her food. It was if she was really attached and in a trance with those pancakes on her plate or she had something else on her mind. I'm going with the latter of the two. And will ask her about that later. Maybe that's why she's been acting like a pissed off hit man this morning.

Before I knew it King and Queen Duchan were being excused, and Susan started her game plan of the day.

"Edmund, how about you show Princess Laurenne around the castle today?"

Princess Laurenne looked delighted. I was still creeped out at the creepy resemblance she had with Lauren the Skank back home. Edmund looked awkward as Laurenne has her grimy hands all on his arm, gripping onto him for dear life. Honey, he's not going anywhere. Although I wish he would...

"Yes Eddie, that would be great!" She squealed. And she called him Eddie. Like in my dream. Woah

"I, uh, okay?" replied Edmund, clearly in over his head.

"Yay!" she squealed, again. God can someone sedate her!

I must have been sending eye daggers Laurenne's way as Peter and Lucy excused themselves from the table and dragged me along with them.

"What the? Where are we going?" I yelled, trying to rip Peters hand off me. But of course, I received no response. They both then decided the best place to take me was a random room off the hallway, and we shuffled in. Then they decided to let go of me, both standing next to the door with their arms crossed and faces smug.

"What the hell!" I yelled, beyond the valley of annoyed.

"Why didn't you come with us last night!" Peter asked. "We were thrown to the wolves, or wolf, on our own!"

"That's what I asked her Peter" said Lucy, her back faced to me. "And did you see that fang look she was throwing Princess Laurenne this morning!"

"I know, what's wrong Colette? Why the jealously?" Peter smirked.

"Is there something you haven't told me Colette?" asked Lucy.

"Yeah Colette, is there something you haven't told Lucy?"

At this point in time, I didn't know whether to be more worried about the fact that I had just been hijacked by Peter and Lucy, or about the fact that Edmund was currently showing Princess Laurenne around the castle, alone, or about the fact that Peter was trying to out my secret to Lucy. When did life get so confusing?

"Lucy, um, I don't think I've left anything.. out?" If you could see a lie, there would be a massive podge of one in the room.

"Are you sure about that?" asked Peter, raising his eyebrow in question.

Oh no you don't Peter, oh no you do not. Lucy just kept looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to tell her my 'big secret.'

"Yes Peter, I am certain" I said sternly, hinting out to the bog doof that I did not want to press the question further.

The King simply didn't get it.

"So the fact that you have a big ol' crush on Edmund hasn't been left out?"

Silence. Silence is truly a horrid word. And situation. Silence is deafening. And awkward. Extremely awkward. Especially when all eyes are on you and your blushing as red as a tomato. The break of silence? Well that's different in all situations.

Lucy decided to squeal my ears off.

"!" she screamed, as she jumped up and down and ran towards me. "Its about time!" she gushed out as she wrapped me up in the tightest hug known to man kind.

What?

"You're not... mad?" I questioned, very confused. Peter shared the same look. At least someone was on my side.

She pulled away and searched my face. "Of course not! Everyone will be so glad! I mu-"

"No Lucy" I cut her off. "Not everyone. Not no one. No one at all is meant to know. No one."

"What about Aslan?"

"What do you mean 'What about Aslan'?" Why would a freaking lion like to know about my dippy crush on your brother?"

Peter had come beside me at this point, and Lucy had quit her air-constricting hug.

"I just thought he would like to know his pl-. Oh. Never mind." Lucy looked worried then, as if she let something slip. What was she on this morning? I didn't think there were drugs in Narnia.

"Lucy, are you ok?" Peter and I were now beyond confusion.

"Of course!" Lucy said brightly, piping up. "I've got to go now. Those nymphs won't train themselves!" Then she spun around and skipped out the door, leaving Peter and I.

"Peter?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to kill you." I threatened.

"I'm willing to pay that price" he smiled, and waltzed out the door, myself hot on his tail. Oh how he will pay!

I crept up behind him and punched him in the back. That was my revenge you see. I did consider dropping a vile of green skin producing poison in his apple juice, but I thought that may be seen as to drastic and decided against it. See, I'm not a total psycho.

"What the hell!" he shouted as he spun around. "Colette!"

I stood there haughtily, smirking at Peter. I was not a force to be beckoned with. He started to laugh, and muttered about how it didn't even hurt him.

"Yeah right, you totally squealed Peter."

He tried to brush it off, but I knew better. My punches were deadly. Then we heard hustling and bustling coming from around the corner, and Peters face showed, astonishment? Shock? Disgust? He was facing the scene of the noise you see. Then I turned around to see what the hell was happening in the corner. Next time, I shouldn't be hasty and curious. Why? In the corner, nicely nestled up to each other, (and by nestled I mean completely entangled) were Edmund and Laurenne, her hands in his hair and his arms at his sides. Her face in his neck and his eyes locked on mine.

I just spun around walked away, hearing footsteps behind me, not bothering to turn around. My questions were answered. All with a nooking neck.

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**Firstly, two updates in one day. Again. I know, I'm not consistent. I'm working on it though. So, Lucy! What are you hiding, huh? And Peter youy crazy cat. Edmund, what the heck are you doing with Laurennes hands all over you! Review please, and ideas are obviously appreciated!**


	11. Ew, clingy hands

**Hello Tsar's and Tsarinas! A change, this is in Edmunds POV! Taking it back from the night of the Duchan's arrival to the present. Understood? Ok! Meet me at the bottom!**

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**EPOV**

OK, so let me first say that there are always two sides of every story. Always. In most cases on one of those sides will stand a crazy-controlling-mean-and-sometimes-evil sister who enjoys putting people you love down at every moment, at every chance she can. Yes, 'most cases' is used very loosely. But in most cases, you will find someone, something, trying to physically destroy you or your plans. This, is the problem I'm facing.

Bad huh?

Now, lets rewind a bit and clear some confusion. Susan the Gentle wasn't always a catty, snobby biatch like the character she's taken to nowadays. Because guess what? Susan was actually gentle once upon a time. The first ever time my siblings and I were transported to Narnia, Susan was the glue that stuck our family together. Without her, Peter would still be at that Professors house, too stubborn to believe about the world we currently live in, Lucy would be with that Tumnus fawn and I would either be trying to kill Peter or being killed by the White Witch.

Yeah, we've been through a heap.

Fortunately, we're all still together, even though one of us has gone a bit AWOL. The second year that we were sent back to Narnia, and the year that we decided to stay, Susan met Prince Caspian, a young man who after saving Narnia from a bunch of psychotic Tellamarine's was sent by Aslan to complete some 'mysterious duty' for his country, and till this day has never been seen again. An odd letter or two would wind up in Peter's hand, and then be given to Susan, but apart from that? Nothing.

Susan cried. A lot. And now is mean. A lot.

So now, Susan has taken it upon her own shoulders to play matchmaker to all of us. In a way I guess, it's probably to cope with her loss of Caspian. But she's only, what, 20? And it's not like Caspian's dead! He will come back! I think. But even so, there are plenty of more kings where he came from! For the most part, that's why I don't bother to argue much with her when she comes up with these crazy plans and ideas like the one of Princess Laurenne. But now she's taken a strong dislike to Colette. That's a whole other story.

Never, and I repeat, never, has anyone from the world of earth been randomly transported to Narnia without purpose. Never. Never has anyone from earth been transported here alone. But Colette has both. And Susan was treating her like shit. Colette is certainly not unimportant. She is not meek, weak or worthy of any of Susan's torments, as juvenile and selfish as they may be. And it's really getting out of hand.

So when I was walking and talking with Colette evening, which was quite a pleasant and lovely way to end an afternoon, I was shocked and angry to say the least when I found out about the news of Princess Laurenne's arrival.

Now, let's talk about Princess Laurenne.

If there was just one word to describe Princess Laurenne, it would be fake. Completely and utterly fake. I also think she may have some type of personality deformation or something, as she could go from dippy and selfish, to catty and snobby, back to dippy and then straight to clingy and, uh, perky in one sentence. She's your typical princess. Brown hair, with these weird bits of blonde popping out and grey brown eyes. Susan thinks they're beautiful and unusual. I think they reflect her personality; dull and boring.

To hold a conversation with her is more painful than ripping your eyeballs out with your bare hands. I mean, it's not like I've ever ripped out my eyeballs with my hands, but if I were to one day in the future, I'm almost certain it wouldn't hurt as much as talking to Laurenne. Seriously.

And now, I was being forced to meet and greet her? I think not.

But how I did think to go, and ended up trudging towards the door to greet her majesty. Thankfully, only King and Queen Duchan were there, so I had some time to do some serious damage control with Susan before Princess Laurenne arrived.

Eventually, everybody else came up to greet the Laurenne-less Duchan's, including Colette. She looked pretty, you know? I think th- Anyway, I introduced her to the Duchan's, because Susan oh so conveniently left her out of her introductory speech, and after they were ushered away to their rooms could have killed someone. I've got time to go and bathe Susan? You cannot be serious. In my rise of anger I stormed off to my room and had a heated fist fight with my pillows. Yes, I was very angry. Deal with it.

Anyway, after I cooled right down and wasn't seeing red, I decided to collect myself and figure out what to do next. Only problem? I had no clue as to what to do. Not one. I mean, what could I realistically do? She's on her way, it's not like I could deter her horse or driver or something and send her back to her castle. That was a no-no. And her parents were already making themselves comfortable in their rooms.

Unless I set fire to their suites...

Maybe not. Colette could get hurt mid-blaze.

Steal all their belongings? They'd have to go back and get more...

No.

So that left me with no other solution than to wait and be pleasant to Laurenne and her annoying parents. Great.

The next hour or so was filled with some headaches, pacing, bathing and thinking a little of Colette. Sue me.

And then Susan came up to my room and told me that the anti-Christ had arrived and I was to come down and meet the 'beauty'. And by anti-Christ I mean Laurenne. But I'm sure you gathered that already for yourselves. She also mentioned that everyone else was waiting down for me. Everyone minus Colette of course.

"What? What did you say to her Susan?"I exclaimed.

"Nothing, she just simply did not come down. She's in her room, sleeping apparently" she said unfazed.

"Well, why didn't anyone wake her?"

"Now that would just be rude Edmund, don't you know anything about treating guests?" she replied, and started to make her way down the hallway. Towards Satan.

How hypocritical of her. Words could not describe the frustration I was feeling at that moment. And it all got worse. Oh so worse.

A pleasant introduction made by Susan introduced me to Laurenne, although I knew her from previous encounters like this. To say that encounter was awkward would be a drastic understatement. And Peter and Lucy looked like disciplined schoolchildren, waiting for their time in detention to be over. Or waiting for their teacher to look the other way so they could make a quick getaway. Lucy was also looking around, as if she was waiting for someone.

Ah, Colette.

Right

Then Susan said, or ordered me to show Laurenne to her room, 'as it was very late and she needs to get her beauty sleep!' and I was basically attacked by Princess Laurenne and her clingy little hands. That decided to grope me every way possible.

As we made our way up to her guest room, the air was so silent I could have heard a freaking pin drop.

Freaking. That's Colette's word.

Focus Edmund.

"So would you like to show me my bed King?" Laurenne said sweetly, so sweetly it was sickening.

"Excuse me!" I squeaked, and detached myself from her arm.

"I think I should leave you here, it was, uh, nice meeting you again Laurenne" I said quickly and walked off, leaving her standing in the doorway. Great, Laurenne was a promiscuous sly fox. Isn't that cute.

The next morning, after having various horrific dreams about Laurenne in my bed and stuff of the like, I went down to breakfast where, fancy that, Laurenne was chatting away with Susan. Peter just sat there, awkwardly. Tactically, I sat near Peter, only to have Laurenne follow me to the seat beside me, attaching her arms around mine and beaming up at me.

"Why good morning Edmund" she said suggestively, although I'm not too sure what she was suggesting at that phrase. This girl's really got to get some therapy.

Luckily at that moment the Duchan's came through the door and plonked themselves down, seemingly much too happy at such an early hour of the morning. I shuddered at the thought of what could have made them oh so happy, and wished Colette was here. Yes, in that order.

Then, speak of her, Lucy and Colette came in, and she looked, well, beautiful. And to ruin the moment, I had Laurenne on my arm. Lucy then introduced Colette to Laurenne, and the amount of tension in the room made me laugh. Colette's face what somewhat puzzling, as she looked a bit confused.

I'd have to ask her about that later

Not literally of course, because I may have gotten beheaded of something of equal torture if I ever made fun of Laurenne. Breakfast was just silent, as no one really knew what to say. Although, Colette did laugh at one point, but no one knew why. Strange that one. Strange, yet so...

Back to the topic at hand, Susan then decided to hatch a brand new idea in which I would be showing Laurenne around the castle. If only Susan knew her friend Laurenne was trying to seduce her brother. Though that's probably what she wants, in a total non-creepy way of course.

Ugh.

Like previously said, trying to hold a conversation with Princess Laurenne is painful. And she kept bumping into me with that giant poofy skirt of hers, which was driving me insane, as we were walking around the castle. So I decided just not to talk. At all. How that was a bad idea.

As we were nearing a corner of the castle, and I was wishing this whole encounter would near its end, Laurenne must have mistaken the deafening silence between us as some type of sexual tension or what not. That or she's just completely deranged. So she pushed me against a wall and basically assaulted me with her grimy hands. It was like a blur of lights and flashes, except all I could concentrate on was the fact that Laurenne was currently trying to undo my shirt, and that could be problematic, because firstly, I was going to vomit at the thought of another girl aside from Colette being so close to me, and two, she was starting to kiss my neck, me totally unresponsive standing there like a cornered victim.

Of course then the inevitable happened. I caught the eye of none other than Colette with another girls hand on my chest. And face in my neck. And she ran.

So I pushed Laurenne off of me and ran after her.

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**Oh Edmund! So it was quick and brief, but I thought I should give you all an insight onto what's happened previously. And the next chapter=Colette and Edmund action! What will happen? I don't know! Review X**


	12. Ew, nothing works

**Peeps and Peep-ettes! C & E POV Here! Meet me at the bottom.**

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**CPOV**

You know that horrible, horrible moment when you come to the sudden and abrupt realisation that while you were wishing and wondering and hoping something might happen, someone else has trudged along and wiped that dream from you in less than a day? Yeah, that right about summed up my life right now. I thought things were going splendidly on my selfish behalf; Edmund seemed to detest Laurenne and I had to do nothing about it. How I was wrong.

I guess when a girl is trying to get their hands down your pants, and you were a King with not a care in the world, it would be hard to resist. I really wish it wasn't. I wish Edmund wasn't intrigued by this skanky poofy-skirt wearing ugly. But he was. And I now had hard evidence to support it.

As any dignified, proud and pride-filled girl would do, I ran away from the scene of the crime. I flew out of there. I don't think I've ever run so fast in my entire 18 years. But I did. Because witnessing the guy you like getting attacked by another girl is not the best thing to see on an early Thursday afternoon. I didn't confront my fears and approach Edmund, rip Laurenne's hands off of him and ride away gracefully into the sunset. That was too scary. To risky. So I ran.

And he decided to run after me.

To be honest, I could hear him calling my name as he tried to catch up to me. But I didn't want to hear it. I couldn't stand to hear the "I just don't feel the same way" come from his mouth. The sentence I was oh so sure would end my hope of mutual like-ness. If that's possible. I had a head start on him of course, and out run him to my room, where I slammed and locked the door behind me before I crashed onto my bed and actually sobbed. I cried over a boy. Pathetic, right?

Eventually, it was time to get up.

No, I didn't answer his constant knocks and cries to let him in.

I didn't answer him every time he asked me if I was 'OK'.

I didn't bother paying attention to his footsteps echoing off the walls as he gave up and walked away.

Here's the thing. I'm not all big on the 'letting people in' factor of life. I normally just shut myself out, or kept to myself. I didn't really trust anyone with a lot. I did, once upon a time. But that was before my so called friends, the girls I trusted, went behind my back and laughed and joked about my apparent 'pathetic-ness' to all their guy friends. That was before I was to humiliatingly shut down by the guy I liked when I was 15. That was before I was ridiculed for being different, and not wanting to be with him in the way he wanted to be with me.

And now, the person I let in the most while I was here in Narnia had betrayed me. He may have not known that he had betrayed me, but nonetheless, he did. And now I was left exactly like I was those three years ago. Alone.

Again.

**EPOV**

I don't get girls. I don't get them one bit. But then again Colette isn't an ordinary girl, I don't think. Well, I hope she's not.

And I've screwed up big time. I think.

I ran after her, I swear. I ran and yelled and hoped that she would stop running away and talk to me. I hoped she'd tell me why she was so upset. I didn't get her problem.

It's not like she could have a reason to be upset. I was putting up with this plastic, fake princess day in and day out when the one girl I wanted spent more time with my brother and sister than me. I was trying to avoid Laurenne's clutches and wishing Colette, would, uh 'clutch' me instead. That she would turn around and confess her love to me, or like to me. Whatever.

But that hadn't happened. Of course. And I was left with Laurenne. Of course.

And now I was trying to catch up with a girl that was literally running away from me. Great.

She had a good head start on me, so I wasn't surprised that she slammed the door in my face when she ran into her room. My pleas for her to open the door didn't work either.

My life was one big problem.

I yelled and wished that she'd tell me what's wrong. I literally did exactly that.

But she didn't. And I was still lost.

I stood there for a good half hour, until I gave up. As I walked back to my room, I caught Lucy in the hall. Stupid sisters and knowing something's wrong. She caught my arm and asked me to stop.

"Ed, what's wrong?" she asked, looking seriously concerned.

That's probably because I looked like I lost something precious to me and my shirt was wide open.

"Nothing Luce, don't worry about it" I said, brushing Lucy off and continuing my walk to my room.

She didn't give up though.

"What's wrong Ed? It's about Colette isn't it?"

I turned around to face her.

"How did you know?"

"Well I saw Laurenne sulking around the castle like five minutes ago, and I know you're in love with Colette so it's no surpr-"

"Lucy, shut up" I cut her off, and walked away. I was too mentally exhausted to put up with her teasing.

"I wasn't making fun of you Ed" she said sternly. "If you knew anything, and would just open your eyes for one second, you'd realise why she's so upset. And I know why you're so upset. How stupid do you think I am?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I replied sarcastically.

"Shut up Ed, you may think you're a freaking martyr because you like her so much, but did you ever think she likes you back? That she wants to be more than friends? No, you didn't. Because you're so wrapped up in your 'nothing-works-for-me' world that you gave up and went along with Laurenne."

She used Colette's word. And she was getting annoyed. What's this got to do with her?

"I would never go along with Laurenne!" I said, outraged at the thought.

"Then why were you with her instead of Colette this morning?"She exclaimed.

"Because of Susan!" I yelled, tired.

"You could have stood up for yourself. You could have said no. You could have been with Colette. But you agreed. You submitted to Susan's crazy rules." She said. "Go think about that." And she went away.

Fantastic. I just stuffed up. Big time.

_And Colette likes you more than a friend! Maybe._

Oh, shut up Edmund.

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**So I've started school and will update once a week, hopefully! But I hope you liked this chapter. And I'm so happy you liked Edmunds POV. I'll try to do more of that. But next chapter, and the chapters after that will be the grand realisations of love, confrontations and the like. Oooooo DRAMA! Reviews make me happy!**


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